Halfway to a year of my writing journey!
I am now at 6 months of sharing my deepest thoughts, experiences, stories, and visions. I find so much joy and peace in writing. I am grateful to everyone who has taken the time to read my entries and has given me feedback or simple words of encouragement. I have so much love all around me and so much to feel grateful for. I would not have endured these past six months if it weren't for this blog. The ability to process these very difficult thoughts, escape, and create something I want to see in the future has provided me with so much hope. During a time I didn’t have a vision, writing gave me that. I am so grateful to God, who I feel speaks to me in books, dreams, and visions, and that I have been able to turn those into words. A special shout-out to Erika, my sweet, sweet soulmate. I am grateful you hold me accountable. I am grateful for the screenshots of the blogs you’ve sent me when you relate to what I am writing. Your support has helped me get through the past year of my life. I will forever have a soul tie to you.
Life has a very strange way of turning itself upside down. Many times, my life has been flipped upside down. To be transparent, I never felt like my life has ever really been normal. I recognize now that that's because I am not normal. I was born to be different. I am just now starting to step into that version of myself. I accept her as she is. I wish in some ways I had accepted this sooner in life because maybe the outcome of many things would have been different. Nevertheless, I continue to believe everything happens for a reason. I have witnessed God move mountains in my favor, and I rest assured He will do it again. My journey of self-reflection has been so far from linear. My God, have things been so up and down. The reason I say any of this is because I urge anyone going through a rough time, whatever the circumstances, please take the time to get to know yourself. My pastor explained during a preaching that isolation is when you purposely escape something, while solitude is when you are consciously making a choice to be alone. Just last week I cried on my drive home feeling the weight of the world pressing itself on me, knowing I was going home to an empty house. Many nights I have laid on my bed with the uncomfortable feeling of being alone, forcing solitude on myself. Forcing myself to process what feelings are coming up. The most challenging part is when you get to the point where you actually find out you have stuff to work on. That part sucks! But it is the best part, also, because you recognize that your life is fully about experiences carefully curated by you and your reactions. Suddenly, everything feels like it will be okay. And it will be okay. No matter what. I encourage you to seek a deeper understanding of yourself before you try to understand anyone else. Journal, turn off your notifications, stay in on weekends, watch all your friends post the fun they are having while you sit at home and read, wake up early on weekends and walk—WALK MILES, it is so helpful—cry, shed all the tears, listen to good music, talk to yourself, pray on your knees (it's so humbling), make healthy food, move your body, feel the sun hit your skin and the wind in your hair, get to know yourself!! It’s worth the temporary discomfort. I promise you.
I see all of you, and the thousands !!!! of views this blog has received in just this short time. i love you.
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