1 Corinthians 13

He sees her in the distance. She’s shining brighter than he remembers. Months have passed by, and he’s been so busy he can only estimate the time frame. But he remembers their last encounter.

-The pain in her eyes. The sadness filling the room. The pit in his stomach when he knew she was going to leave him now, but the doubt reminding him he wasn’t ready and wouldn’t be enough. His heart wishing so badly he wasn’t so difficult. His overthinking was his demise. Self-sabotage, as she would say. She wanted to stay, more than anything, she was willing to try, but she knew his last words, they went too far. They don’t share a kiss because there’s no point anymore. She walks away, and poof. Two hearts are left broken.-

He debates whether or not to walk over. She seems confident, standing tall. As the crowd moves around her, a man standing next to her comes into his view. She’s holding his hand and laughing. They share a brief kiss. His heart is racing. He’s trying to calculate the time they’ve been apart. “Could she have already moved on?” he asks himself. While his world seems to be caving in, they make eye contact. His heart skips a beat, and he searches for some sense of happiness in her eyes, the one she always had with him, but instead, it’s like she’s seen a ghost. She quickly turns and breaks their eye contact. He feels awkward. Exposed. As if everyone in the room knew what had just happened. He understands she’s not there to see him and quickly removes himself from the room.

She excuses herself to the restroom. “I knew I shouldn’t have come. I didn’t think he would be here.” She has a quick moment to check herself. “Fuck, maybe I subconsciously hoped he would be, but I really believed he wouldn’t. He’s supposed to be out of town. Fuck.” Her heart is in her stomach. She hasn’t felt anxious like this since she walked out of his loft that one day. 

-She walked out knowing it was the end, confidently but immediately fell apart the moment she got in her car. The memories flooded her mind, and she doubted every fiber of herself. Every thought, both good and bad. For the weeks after that day, she trained herself to unlove someone she fell so hard for. She picked up all the pieces he left her to pick up. The thoughts of him moving on and finding the one person who would truly be his person kept her up at night….Until they didn’t. Then, she slept with her clothes and not his anymore. She listened to love songs with hope, not hurt. She danced all night and laughed loudly on walks with friends. She didn’t check for his messages any longer and stopped looking at his posts….And then came along her angel. Whatever she thought love was before him, was nothing compared to what he brought. He was patient, kind, he didn’t envy, or boast, he wasn’t arrogant or rude. He did not insist on his own way; he was not irritable or resentful; he did not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoiced with the truth. She believed in love again. She trusted she could be loved again.-

She touches up her hair, takes a deep breath, and steps out. She scans the room and feels a sigh of relief when she no longer sees him. She meets her angel and whispers in his ear she’s ready to enjoy him at home. They share a few goodbyes, and out they go.

He watches her get in her partner’s car from the balcony. He aches as he watches the life he could have had drive off into the night sky.

She sits in the car with the deep understanding that she believed so much in him. He could have been the one. He should have. But now they’ll remain strangers. And she’ll never turn back. And he’ll always wish she had.