It started with the health class in summer school.
Animals upside down, bleeding out.
Then it went to music.
Misfits and The Ramones—what album is your favorite? Quick, five seconds are up. You don’t even know who they are.
Wait, counting squirrels and mustangs didn’t strike anyone as a red flag?
The hyper fixation and fear of missing out on knowledge, "She loves the cause, she stays up all night reading about it, it’s actually cute!"
No, mom, it’s weird and it’s the start to a very rough path.
The search history tells secrets of the biggest fears I have.
"Why’d you Google raw chicken like 75 thousand times?"
The heater in the bedroom, the oven—is it on? The blow dryer’s plugged in—we HAVE to go back.
Oops, sorry babe, I did unplug it, and yes, I checked, the stove is off.
The time spent on U-turns and running back into the house, my sanity’s grateful, but my family—not so much.
The chicken’s overcooked. It’s best I actually don’t make it anymore.
The scrolling and scrolling, what if I miss out on that one really good video that tells me exactly what I need to hear in this moment?! cue slot machine sound
Stress makes it worse, but cigarettes help the stress. Did I actually put it out? Let me go back and check. Actually, I’ll just take it with me and toss it in water, just in case.
The night that was ruined because I thought the roach I threw out the window was going to start a fire at the gas station, so I stared at the Citizen app all night wondering when they would report a fire.
Now it’s plastic. FUCK, why is everything made of plastic? Did you know pillows have so much fucking plastic? Why did the stainless steel utensils come individually wrapped in plastic?!
Wait, you’re telling me my clothes are the reason behind child labor?
Thanks, now I have another thing keeping me up at night.
And the sustainable fishing!
What the fuck is sustainable about killing fish?
Please do not get me started on the planes. Boeing 737-800, I trusted you. NTSB, it’s been 2 years, I need answers. I can’t fly Southwest until you tell me why!
Okay, I’m getting aggressive. I have to check myself.
Even though I’m not done.
The therapy didn’t work, and that’s okay.
Do you know the blessing to this curse?
I know everything about everything, ask my dad, he'll actually tell you that first.
Animals upside down, bleeding out.
Then it went to music.
Misfits and The Ramones—what album is your favorite? Quick, five seconds are up. You don’t even know who they are.
Wait, counting squirrels and mustangs didn’t strike anyone as a red flag?
The hyper fixation and fear of missing out on knowledge, "She loves the cause, she stays up all night reading about it, it’s actually cute!"
No, mom, it’s weird and it’s the start to a very rough path.
The search history tells secrets of the biggest fears I have.
"Why’d you Google raw chicken like 75 thousand times?"
The heater in the bedroom, the oven—is it on? The blow dryer’s plugged in—we HAVE to go back.
Oops, sorry babe, I did unplug it, and yes, I checked, the stove is off.
The time spent on U-turns and running back into the house, my sanity’s grateful, but my family—not so much.
The chicken’s overcooked. It’s best I actually don’t make it anymore.
The scrolling and scrolling, what if I miss out on that one really good video that tells me exactly what I need to hear in this moment?! cue slot machine sound
Stress makes it worse, but cigarettes help the stress. Did I actually put it out? Let me go back and check. Actually, I’ll just take it with me and toss it in water, just in case.
The night that was ruined because I thought the roach I threw out the window was going to start a fire at the gas station, so I stared at the Citizen app all night wondering when they would report a fire.
Now it’s plastic. FUCK, why is everything made of plastic? Did you know pillows have so much fucking plastic? Why did the stainless steel utensils come individually wrapped in plastic?!
Wait, you’re telling me my clothes are the reason behind child labor?
Thanks, now I have another thing keeping me up at night.
And the sustainable fishing!
What the fuck is sustainable about killing fish?
Please do not get me started on the planes. Boeing 737-800, I trusted you. NTSB, it’s been 2 years, I need answers. I can’t fly Southwest until you tell me why!
Okay, I’m getting aggressive. I have to check myself.
Even though I’m not done.
The therapy didn’t work, and that’s okay.
Do you know the blessing to this curse?
I know everything about everything, ask my dad, he'll actually tell you that first.
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