vitreous

There's a quote from a book I once read that says, 'I think and think and think, I've thought myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it.' I am not an unhappy person; overall, I believe I am generally in good spirits. I find it so easy to push others to constantly find the good and strive for better. I am most likely smiling when you see me. I can even fool myself into believing this is all enough. 'I am fulfilled! People kill for a life like this!'

Yet, it is so easy to feel, deep in the core, a sense of unhappiness. It's my personal elephant in the room—like those little floaters in your vision that you know are there, but only notice when you focus on them. You don’t pay attention to them because if you do, it’ll distract you, and really, there's no time for that right now.

Sometimes, the feeling stems from something so deep that I refuse to acknowledge it or say it aloud. I am happy around others. I feel satisfied, content, and grateful for the life I live.

But that's it. Just content.